For Christmas 2006, my aunt gave from her heart Eckhart’s “A New Earth” book. I read a little bit of it early the next year and put it down. I resisted much of what my aunt gave to me or suggested because I lived in fear. Childhood, teen, and early adult traumas in the form of my ego was still holding my life hostage from opening up and accepting that there are different viewpoints of reality – mine was the veil of tremendous fear.My aunt passed away September of 2007 and early in 2008 I found myself drawn back to “A New Earth.” This time, I could not put it down. I read and hi-lighted critical passages. Then I re-read it again. Deep down to the true “I,” the messages made absolute sense and “I” needed to keep re-enforcing it. What developed was a real battle with my ego. For some 30 years, it had been in complete charge – running, sabotaging, and ruining my life at every turn. I also became aware of the ego’s game plan that needed to cause pain to others before they could cause pain to it. My aunt picked up on this and tried to lovingly tell me this was unhealthy before she passed.

There were anywhere from few days to weeks of feeling in relatively absolute presence and it was wonderful (even though people around me perceived there was something “wrong” with me). Then, there would be a trigger and the ego re-possessed me again. It would trick me into believing presence was nonsense and I had to continue allowing the past to shape my future.

I would eventually be able to return to presence with the help of “A New Earth” and the audio CD version I purchased to listen to as I went to sleep at night (hoping osmosis would work). For three years now, I have vasilated between the self-destructive ego and loving presence. What is different though, there is a background awareness when the ego is in control. So, each period of re-possession, it seems to be less and less severe. I am learning other modalities to assist in dissolving the ego and enjoy more presence in the form of chakra healing, crystal healing and T’ai Chi.

I hope this can be shared with others who may also be in the same “battle.” For some, this transformation may take some time and it may be bumpy. The point being: first get in touch with the deeper “I” and be aware that it is alive and waiting to be freed. Then, great patience is needed to dissolve the ego. One may hit highs and lows. Just be aware and honor your true self. You’ll get there!